Friday, 30 November 2012

Pass Me the Stress Ball....

This week, I've been blowing my gasket. I've had steam coming out of my ears and I’m ready to kick some backside.

In my last post, I mentioned something about my issues with British Gas. They are on my list, up there with Premier Travel Inn and crap dates. I'm supposed to be keeping my blood pressure down, the kindly nurse told me that I should eat less salt, which is not fun when I have a serious crisp addiction. But I think it has more to do with my inner rage, which despite my normally mild mannered and silly exterior, is a bubbling volcano ready to erupt lava down the phone to the berks at British Gas.

Even when I’m right and they’re wrong, such as when I was over £200 in credit and they refused to refund me my own blasted money. I suggested that as they were behaving like a bank, perhaps they could provide me with a debit card and cheque book. The young man said that there was no need for me to be sarcastic, I pointed out that there was no need to keep unnecessary amounts of my money, but it didn't stop them from doing it, so why should I stop being sarky for their benefit?

The problem is as I see it is that society doesn't like a woman with a sharp tongue who in the face of utter unreasonableness starts wagging her finger and says ‘enough’. Why shouldn't I? Life is too short to put with the knob-jockeys in this world and I'm of an age now where I don’t care if I offend anyone with my unfeminine assertiveness.

It’s the same in the relationships I see around me. I've seen so many women treated like utter dog do-do at the hands of their partners. But woe-betide them if they put their foot down and say, no, actually leaving me for a younger model and me with the kids and no money isn't ok. In fact, I’d like to kick you really hard in the balls and stuff a banana in the exhaust of your car. No, they have to remain passive and let the shit wash over them or they’ll be viewed as harridans or shrew-like, just for standing up for themselves.

Recently, I was out with a friend and a man in the bar took a fancy to me. Oh joy! You might cheer; LK Jay can now join the rest of the human race and start reproducing! Not a chance. The man was an arrogant idiot who tried to shove as much alcohol into my face in order to get back to our flat so he could force his intentions upon me. He even came up with the line ‘on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you want me?’ to which I replied, ‘about a 2, possibly a 3 for England.’ I put my foot down. He was an arrogant letch and just because he said ‘I wanna,’ didn't mean I had to say yes. I said no, and made jolly sure he knew it. Why should I play ball if I don’t want to?

It’s like the characters in my Ghost Hunters novels. They’re all financially independent and they can make their own decisions when it comes to their relationships so why should they tolerate any nonsense that the other characters dish out? In the sequel that I'm currently editing, ‘The Ghost Hunters Return,’ both Anna and Karen have to deal with badly behaved people who don’t have their best interests at heart. What do they do? Well you’ll have to wait until it’s ready to publish but one thing I can tell you, they don’t put up with any crap from anyone and they solve the issues in their own imitable way.

Now pass me a stress ball, I've got to read the meters…

If you’re female and about to let steam out of your ears, then wait! Rather than upset anyone with your unladylike assertiveness, you can download one of my stories from Amazon instead.

Amazon UK

Amazon US


  1. You know who gets up my nose? Other women. The ones who let men away with behaviour like that. Complete idiots. Of course men will behave like that if they get away with it. My hubby changes his fair share of nap"pies and mucks in. We're a team. More men should take a leaf out of his book. He's by no means perfect. He is a man, after all. He has his faults, as do I (PMT getting the better of me being my major fault).

    I personally think you were kind to give that guy a 2. I'd have given him a "f**k off" look in response to his question and forget about the numbers, but then I am, as one man told me in my single days, "a snooty wee cow." Yes, I am, and proud of it!

  2. And those women who insist on doing all the housework, despite having a full time job as well. I remember hearing one young woman, who had been away at the weekend who came home to her other half saying, 'there's no milk or break left.' To which I would have replied, 'well go and chuffing get some then.' Or words to that effect :-)

  3. I cheered out loud at several points in this post, LK! A little confession ... don't hate me for this ... I used to be a doormat. A complete, utter, 100% sap. Then one day I decided that I'd had enough and it was time to grow a backbone. I'm less popular these days, but I'm much happier.

    Right, now I'm off to sharpen my battleaxe... :-)

  4. Hi LK:) I usually find a short sharp letter to British Gas does the trick. About to grit my teeth & apply for a tax rebate from the US though. Wish me luck.


  5. love your responses! And you should've kneed that guy in the balls. That would've cured him of any intentions :D

  6. Ah, the US tax office, they could even rival British Gas. Make a cup of tea and settle down for a long, long phone call...