I’ve been on my holibubs and in English, that means I’ve been on holiday. Off to Wales I went; Rust deposited with my pals, with my tent and endless other crap packed into my boot.
It’s that time of year again when me and my pal Spa pile into her little blue car and put up out tents in a large field in the Brecon Beacons and live it up festival style. Except this year, the weather wasn’t quite as good as it was last year and I had to put up my tent in the pouring rain. Oh did I swear, and I broke my big pink golfing brolly. @*&$!
It’s a good job I have a sense of humour, because boy did I need it this year. Not that I didn’t enjoy myself, I always do with my best pal, but the cold nights in the tent, the stomach bug on the Saturday and the crippling lower back pain due to lying on an inadequate air bed were enough to make my grin into a grimace.
Well that’s just rock and roll, and when in doubt, there’s always alcohol to sooth one’s aches and pains, and the very good physio who happened to be posted in the ‘Nature Nurture’ section of the festival. Spa did suggest that I visit the palmist to get a reading, but it involved a certain amount of hugging and I was not in the mood for that. By Sunday, all was sunny as the weather brightened up and I had a music-packed agenda.
First up, Nick Mulvey. I wouldn’t normally go that much for folk music, but Mr Mulvey is one cute little plucker who I am definitely going to see play at Cambridge Junction in October. Anyone coming with me?
First Aid Kit were cute, with their Swedish folk and gold lamé dresses, they were large enough to take on the main Mountain Stage. Their covers of Simon and Garfunkle’s ‘America’ and Jack White were superb.
Last but not least; Simian Mobile Disco and they didn’t disappoint. They can be described as being a bit, err, niche, but if you like your electronica, then they have enough bleeps to keep any self-respecting microwave happy. Best of all was their DJ set, hosted by BBC Radio 6’s Nemone Electric Ladyland, which I raved to until the early hours of the morning. Dancing in a field to bleepy music, man it was just like being back at Uni. I even had a bloke come up and ask me if I had any ‘pills’, how very 90s of him! Aw, I felt sorry for him when I said the best I could do was some Ibuprofen.
All too soon it was time to pack up the tents, swear again as I couldn’t fit the chuffing thing back into the stupidly small bag, and back I was at Spa’s house. My writer pals C L Raven came to visit and we played a raucous game of ‘Cards Against Humanity’ which is so offensive, it is a work of genius. Unfortunately, while we were all creasing up at a very rude joke about Pac Man, a bloke decided chat me up in the most awkward moment since Stewart in The Ghost Hunters’ Club got Viagra and laxatives a bit mixed up.
So last of all, my bargains. I’ve found a few this holiday but the best one was the trench coat I bought for a ton. That’s a hundred pounds in normal English. Half-price, proper bargain and now I can swish around pretending to be an Audrey Hepburn/Alain Delon mash up. Only blond.
This month, you can see me featured in this month’s edition of Chat It’s Fate where I talk about when I saw a ghost. Honest, it’s all true gov! Fame must now surely beckon.
And the release of my ghost story compilation A Curious Quartet. All four of my ghost novellas in one edition - look out to win a copy in a competition coming soon.